


It's My Party (I'll Cry If I Want To)

by soyforramen



Series: Leslie Gore [1]
Category: Archie Comics, Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: 1960's era AU, F/F, this is what happens when you listen to old music folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 15:15:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16578977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soyforramen/pseuds/soyforramen
Summary: Her Sweet Sixteen was going to be perfect.  That is, until Betty's best friend arrives on the arm of her long term crush.





	It's My Party (I'll Cry If I Want To)

As the record player wound down to the end, Betty moved to put on the Big Bopper’s last album, a smile on her face for everyone she passed. After so many months, she’d finally got her parents to agree to let her hold a ‘Sweet Sixteen’ party. The caveat had been that Polly was in charge and that Betty could only invite ten people approved by her parents. As luck would have it, her parents were out of town. And as Polly had pointed out, they never said anything about Polly’s friends.

Tonight was all about Betty. Everything was going as perfectly as Betty could hope for. And even Cheryl was acting pretty keen. Nothing could ruin tonight for Betty. 

That is, until Veronica Lodge walked in on the arm of Archie Andrews. She wore his letterman’s jacket like a cape, his class ring gleaming on her finger. They moved like one through the room like the king and queen of homecoming they were.

Her heart constricted at how well they suited each other. It felt as if her heart was trying to flee deeper inside of her, even further away from the light, as if it could take the pain along with it so it wouldn’t show on her face. 

Betty’s long time crush was now taken by her best friend. And at her birthday party no less. 

The sight of them so close together broke her heart, but Betty had nowhere to hide with this many people in the house. Besides, a proper lady never lets anyone see her pain. Not when she still had the role of Hostess to play. And a Cooper would never let something as simple as heartbreak destroy her party.

So Betty made it through as she always did - she air kissed Veronica’s cheek, hugged Archie, and took their birthday well-wishes with a beatific smile, the same smile she’d perfected by years of hiding her true self from the world.

She somehow managed through the conversation, her fists buried in the fabric of her hostess gown and feeling as if she were experiencing it all through a transistor radio. It wasn’t until after they’d disappeared into the crowd that the pain finally hit her. With quiet excuses, Betty made her way towards the back of the house and through the crowded kitchen to the carport. 

From here, she was far enough away the no one from the house could see her. She watched as the older teens gathered on the front lawn to dance to the Greendale radio station Reggie was blasting from his Thunderbird. The refrains of “Work With Me Annie” gave way to a driving bass and fast tempo. It was something racier than Betty had ever dared play, least her parents find out she’d been listening to rock music. 

The muggy spring air filled her lungs and caressed her skin, but it did little to disperse the smell of Veronica’s perfume that lingered on her cardigan. In the dark of a carport, Betty let a tear slip out. It was quickly followed by a second, and a third. Her head filled with a fog of sorrow, her chest hollowed out by a loss for something that had never been. She raked the sleeve of her cardigan across her cheeks and willed herself to stop crying.

“I’d wish you a happy birthday, but something tells me it wouldn’t be appreciated,” Toni said as she made her way up the drive.

Betty dropped her gaze to the ground, embarrassed at being caught crying at her own party.

“It’s just not fair that she -,” Betty stopped herself, wondering whether it was safe to open up to Toni. 

She’d heard the rumors about her. Cruel, vicious things that hurt Betty to hear. Rumours about her skin, about her dress. About how her father had deserted his squad in Korea, about how she’d been trying to organize a chapter of SNCC at Riverdale High. About who she chose to love. 

But Toni had been nothing but kind to Betty, and she was gorgeous and smart and precocious and brave and so self-assured no matter what anyone said about her. 

Toni was the most, and she was everything Betty could hope to aspire to. 

Seeming to sense her hesitation, Toni gave her a disarming smile. “Trust me, I totally get the unreciprocated thing.” At Betty’s curious look, she added, “Jug mentioned Veronica showed up with Andrews on her arm. Pretty lame of her to bird dog you like that.”

Out on the lawn, Elvis began to croon about heartache and loss. Chery and Polly danced some version of Elvis’ latest hit, "Jailhouse Rock", a sight that would surely offend any neighbors had they looked. Toni stared out at them, a wistful look on her face as she sighed and leaned against the Cooper’s old Packard.

Betty’s curiosity was building and she wondered whether Toni was jealous or saddened by the sight. She and the rest of the town were desperately curious about the extent of the relationship between the two girls. As taboo as the subject was, even Riverdale hadn’t been spared its own Lavender Scare and now people were on the constant lookout for what McCarthy had deemed ‘subversive’ behavior. All the tongue wagging only lead to more suspicion and fear. 

And yet. 

“You and Cheryl?”

Toni shook her head and slid her hands into the pockets of her pedal pushers. “Nothing more than a brief kiss under the mistletoe last Christmas and a few months of push and pull. I wanted more and she -” Toni broke off suddenly, as if startled she’d opened up so easily. Talking so openly like this wasn't safe. Not when there could be anyone listening in around them.

Unable to stop herself, Betty moved closer and put a comforting hand on Toni’s arm. “She talked about you all through Christmas break.”

While she’d meant them to be a balm, Betty’s words seemed to wind Toni up even further. Toni pulled away to pace the small length of the carport. She threw furtive glances towards Cheryl and the rest of the crowd while she spoke, her voice so soft Betty had to strain to hear her over the music.

“Look, I get it. It’s not like I begrudge her the bogus, Mickey Mouse kind of life. It’s a small town and people talk. People in this nowhere town aren’t ready to deal with two women dating, let alone if one of them isn’t white. And even if she were up for it, I don’t think she’d ever be okay with it. She’d always want the June Cleaver life, and she’d never get that with me. Instead, we’d end up as another pair of names in one of Jan Gay’s books.”

Betty bit her lip, unsure of what to say. Even if Cheryl had been able to defy society, she knew people like her mother would be the first to speak up. After the latest congressional hearings, Alice’s vicious op-ed condemning deviant behavior and the necessity of protecting the American family had run alongside news of JFK’s election for weeks.

“It has to be difficult,” she said softly. Her eyes kept pace with Toni as she chose the appropriate words. “I can’t imagine what you’ve had to go through just because you loved her.”

Toni turned and held up a finger. “Liked. I never got the chance to know whether I could have loved her.”

“Liked her, then,” Betty acquiesced. 

Toni stretched her arms above her head, her dress shirt chasing up her waist. Betty looked away, only to find she had a picture perfect view of Archie and Veronica through the open window. Her arms were thrown around his neck and he whispered something that made her smile while they slow danced to a song. 

To what Betty had thought was their song.

“How do you make it stop? Liking someone like that?”

She felt Toni step closer. Toni’s ballet flats made almost no noise on the concrete, but Betty could feel the shift in the air around her and the faint smell of lavender.

“Time and distance, mostly. Though it does help if you can find someone else to use as a distraction.” She bumped Betty with her hip and nodded towards the lawn where the greasers Toni hung with were gathered. “I can always ask Sweet Pea. He’s usually up for a good time, no strings attached. So long as you don’t get too strung out when he goes for pinks with you in the car.”

Betty breathed out a laugh. The hot head of the town was notorious for being the irredeemable bad boy about town, something that seemed to drive all the girls wild. But Betty had never been interested in that sort of guy. 

Or any guys, really.

“I think I’ll pass on that one. But it was swell of you to offer.” Betty took Toni’s hand in her own and squeezed it. When Toni squeezed back, Betty’s heart stuttered. “And thanks for checking up on me.”

“Anything for the birthday girl. If you need me, I’ll be in the back trying to keep Fangs from breaking into your dad’s bomb shelter.” Toni gave Betty a faux salute and walked off.

With a deep breath, Betty set her face back into a smile and walked back into her own party. She was able to manage well enough for the rest of the party, doing her best to keep from running into Archie or Veronica, a feat that was easy enough considering they were attached at the hip.

It wasn’t until later in the night, when most of the guests had left for other parts of Riverdale, returning home to meet curfew or running wild to other, more adult parties, that Betty was no longer able to hide in the crowd.

The living room, once packed wall to wall with dancers and their laughter, now held only a few of the late night crowd, still unable to decide where to go next. Betty walked around saying her good nights and thank yous, only to stumble upon Veronica and Archie in the hallway. They were wrapped up in an intimate embrace, his hands threaded through her hair, her arms wrapped tight against him. Try as she might, Betty was not quiet or lucky enough to avoid catching either’s attention.

Veronica was the first to pull out of the embrace, her eyes locked on Betty as if waiting to see what she would do. At least Archie had the decency to look embarrassed at being caught in such a compromising situation in someone else’s house.

“I’ll just leave you to it,” Betty said, forcing her voice into a bright, chipper tone she knew would be expected of her. After all to them she was Betty Cooper, the one who always saw the bright side of everything. The one who never let anything get her down.

Her brittle mask held on though chips of it were falling away. Betty held her hands in front of her as if she could catch them and put them back in place before she crumpled in front of them. 

“I suppose we should be going anyhow,” Veronica said. A smug, self-assured smile rested easy on her face, as if she knew she’d finally gotten at Betty for being so openly intimate with Archie. As if she’d finally scored a point in the long-standing war for his affections.

If only she knew.

Archie shifted and cleared his throat, a sure sign he was uncomfortable. Whether that was from being caught, or whether it was from being caught by Betty, she was unsure. He was her best friend, and sometimes she wondered whether he knew her truths and her lies. 

“Thanks for inviting us,” he said quietly. He squeezed her shoulder and wished her another happy birthday.

Her eyes always sharp and watchful, Veronica’s eyes flicked between them as if to gauge Betty’s disappointment. As much as it hurt to admit, Betty was stung by the sudden show of cruelty in Veronica. As if Betty’s pain was something to be sought after. Because that hadn’t been the Veronica she’d grown up with. The Veronica who was always there for her, the Veronica she’d grown to love.

This was a different Veronica, one who seemed to be caught up in the forced normality of the town. 

When they left, Betty headed into the kitchen to pick at what little remained of her birthday cake. It had been a beautiful sheet cake, covered in sprinkles and the words ‘Happy Birthday Betty!’ in large purple letters. Now, though, after so many people had picked what they want out of it, the cake was marked by jagged edges and smeared lilac frosting.

Two bites in, Toni wandered in from the backyard. She seemed almost shocked to find Betty sitting alone and miserable at the counter. “You alright?”

Betty nodded and took another stab at the cake. “Was it too much to ask for one night to go right?” 

Without warning, Toni grabbed Betty’s hand and slipped the other under the cake. She nodded over at the window, where Polly’s rambunctious friends could be heard coming closer. “Which way's your bedroom? Unless you want to fend off that crowd?” Betty shook her head and stood up. 

Betty lead Toni to her bedroom, hands still intertwined. It was an innocent thing, Toni being there, but the feel of their fingers loosely interlaced still sent Betty’s heart racing. “Second on the left,” she said, hoping her voice wasn’t as breathless as it sounded.

Toni shut the door behind them and looked around the bedroom. She gave a long, slow whistle as she sat down on the floor. “Are you sure your mother’s not Doris Day?”

Betty giggled. She tucked her skirt underneath her and sat down across from Toni. “Trust me, you don’t want to hear her sing ‘Que Sera, Sera.” 

“It can’t be that bad. Fangs is convinced he’s the next Buddy Rich, and I can’t tell you how many beat dive bars we’ve snuck into for him.” Toni rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face showed how proud she was of her friend.

“Archie’s always writing those canned pop songs late into the night, maybe he can be Fangs’ Bob Gaudio.” 

Toni shuddered. “If I ever have to hear ‘Short Shorts’ again, it will be far too late.”

Betty laughed and took another bite of cake. “It might be a trend. Last week Archie kept singing ‘Sugar’ so many times I thought my mother would throw a bag of it at him.”

There was a quiet chuckle, but Toni didn’t say anything more. Betty looked up to find Toni staring at the bedside table. When she realize what Toni was staring at, Betty lunged towards the table, but it was too late.

“Ann Bannon fan, huh?” Toni asked.

Betty’s skin grew hot enough to melt butter, and she shoved the paperback between her mattress. “It’s just something I found at a yard sale.”

Toni’s grin grew that much slyer. She leaned back, her weight on her hands. Her eyes ran down Betty’s body in a way they never had before, and Betty’s heart jumped into her throat. 

“I take it it was never about you and Archie then?”

It was an answer masquerading as a truth. Betty picked up a glob of icing and let it melt in her mouth. It was sweet, and perfect, and almost painful against her teeth. Almost as painful as the truth she never let come to life.

“No. It was never about Archie. Not really. Maybe back when I was little and still didn’t understand you could love someone, but not be in love with them. Back when I still believed my parents knew the truth about everything.”

Toni’s smile had turned into something more genuine, more curious. It felt like Betty was talking to someone who might understand her for the first time. 

“And now?”

Betty shrugged. She dragged a finger through the crumbs on the plate, moving them about aimlessly. “Now I’m not sure about anything anymore. The world around here feels so claustrophobic. So mean. Everyone has this picture perfect view of how everyone should act that no one can be who they are.”

Toni hummed and picked up a chunk of the cake. “What do you want now?” she asked before popping it into her mouth.

While Betty knew the answer, she still couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. Not when the girl she thought she loved had so thoroughly rejected her, had so blatantly shown she didn’t want what Betty wanted. Not when Veronica had rejected her silent pleas so strongly.

But it wasn’t as if Betty hadn’t noticed anyone else. It wasn’t as if she didn’t crave comfort, solidarity, and kinship where she could find it. It wasn’t as if her heart craved companionship, understanding, and compassion.

She watched as Toni swiped a smudge of icing from the plate and licked it from her thumb. Desire came over Betty, or rather, a craving for what she’d always wanted. Before she was altogether aware of what she was doing, Betty leaned forward and placed her mouth on Toni’s, gentle and questioning. 

Because Betty knew what it meant for her to kiss Toni. What it meant if her sister walked in and found them. What it meant if Betty had read Toni wrong this whole time. What it meant if Toni was anything like the rest of this closed up town.

Because different was wrong.

And Betty oh so wanted different to be right.

Betty felt Toni smile and lean into her, her mouth parted and tasting like powdered sugar and birthday cake. Betty leaned forward, wanting to be so much closer, only to find her hand had landed on top of the cake.

They both looked down at the cake and began to laugh. The tension that lined Betty’s shoulders from the party dissipated as the mood shifted around them. While she washed her hands, Toni’s own found reason to brush against her, every movement sending electric jolts along Betty’s skin. 

And after they’d talked late into the night, Toni kissed her again, soft and sweet. A goodbye kiss that promised a tomorrow.

“Happy birthday,” Toni whispered.

“A very happy birthday,” Betty whispered back.


End file.
